This is my ode to the fictional men that have fated me to singlehood. I may one day be a sad, mid-thirties single woman who spends her weekends watching season 3 of Dawson's Creek for the 30th time. At least we know what's coming. Yes, two out of three of these fellows are teenagers, but if they're fictional, it's not cradle-robbing, right? I mean, Edward's 108th birthday was yesterday, so surely that isn't creepy. I just finished the Twilight series a few days ago, and I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that Edward Cullen is fictional. I don't know why it's so hard to believe, since he's a shimmery mythical creature that wears fashion glasses and attends high school in the Pacific Northwest. But in the week and a half that it took me to read the 4 Twilight books, I really came to believe that we could be something together.
Pacey Whitter
It was always Pacey's Creek to me. My first love. The 7th grader in me still gets butterflies when I think about him. Tall and adorable (in a teenager-y kind of way). A trouble-maker in his own right, seducing high school english teachers and stealing Joey right out from under Dawson. Nobody ever believes in Pacey, though. But I always saw his true potential. Everyone thought he was a screw-up, but I knew what he really was. When he danced with Andy on the dock, I knew he would have been happier with me. When he watched Joey sleep by the fire, after he earlier said that you knew you loved someone when you could watch them sleep, ... there are no words for what it did to me, and still does to me. My heart literally broke when he and Joey read to each other on the boat in hammocks, holding hands. Pacey is the reason I'm drawn to the funny guy, the surprisingly romantic underdog. I'm fairly sure that I legitimately loved Pacey (and maybe still do). I have pages in my high school journal testifying to the fact that I prayed fairly often that God would bring my my own Pacey (complete with taped-in Got Milk? ad of Joshua Jackson standing in a boat). I wouldn't be surprised if Joshua Jackson and I happened upon each other on the street, and realized immediately that we really would be perfect together. I might have a hard time not calling him Pacey, though. But he would get over it.
Joey: It's my mom's bracelet
Pacey:I know
Joey: You know? How do you know?
Pacey: Because you told me, six months ago. You came to school and you were wearing that sweater with snowflakes on it. I was teasing you as usual and then you told me "Look Pacey, I just found my mom's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack."
Joey: You remember that?
Pacey: I remember everything.
Mr. Knightley
Not one in a hundred men have gentleman so plainly written across them as Mr. Knightley. So gentile, so giving, so good. Mr. Knightley is the best friend, the one that knows Emma like family, and genuinely wants what is best for her. Emma, who is so flawed, is suddenly swept off her feet at the end of the novel by this fabulously handsome gentleman that knows her so well, urges her to better herself, and will do anything for her. "Marry me, my wonderful, darling friend." Mr. Knightley is why I'm looking for someone as comfortable as family, and utterly romantic. Mr. Darcy's a close 2nd runner up. But I would take Knightley any day.
Knightley: "I do not wish to call you my friend, because I hope to call you something infinitely more dear... I rushed back, anxious for your feelings, keen to be near you. I rode through the rain.... I'd ride through worse than that if I could just hear your voice telling me that I might, at least, have some chance to win you."
Edward Cullen
Mysterious, sexy, dangerous. He's the bad boy that doesn't want to be a monster. Plus he has super powers, is incredibly strong and fast, and will protect you from any imaginable danger. He'll let you see your werewolf friends, even if it makes him jealous, and he'll always do what is ultimately in your best interest. Edward Prefers Brunettes. Plus, you can have sex with him for a decade without getting tired. And did I mention that he's really, really attractive? And wears fashion glasses? And that with one smell of your blood, he is impossibly in love with you, and could never let you go? I'm literally in mourning that no one like him exists in reality. He would give Pacey a run for his money (blasphemy...). Move aside, 15 year olds. I will be in front of you in line for 10 hours at the New Moon Premiere in November, and you're going to wish your T-Shirt is a great as mine. And I'm also seriously considering a pilgrimage to Forks. I only wish I had thought of this all before Stephanie Meyer.
Edward: Look after my heart, I've left it with you.
No, Edward, you look after my heart. I've left it in your sexy, mythical hands.
Pacey Whitter
It was always Pacey's Creek to me. My first love. The 7th grader in me still gets butterflies when I think about him. Tall and adorable (in a teenager-y kind of way). A trouble-maker in his own right, seducing high school english teachers and stealing Joey right out from under Dawson. Nobody ever believes in Pacey, though. But I always saw his true potential. Everyone thought he was a screw-up, but I knew what he really was. When he danced with Andy on the dock, I knew he would have been happier with me. When he watched Joey sleep by the fire, after he earlier said that you knew you loved someone when you could watch them sleep, ... there are no words for what it did to me, and still does to me. My heart literally broke when he and Joey read to each other on the boat in hammocks, holding hands. Pacey is the reason I'm drawn to the funny guy, the surprisingly romantic underdog. I'm fairly sure that I legitimately loved Pacey (and maybe still do). I have pages in my high school journal testifying to the fact that I prayed fairly often that God would bring my my own Pacey (complete with taped-in Got Milk? ad of Joshua Jackson standing in a boat). I wouldn't be surprised if Joshua Jackson and I happened upon each other on the street, and realized immediately that we really would be perfect together. I might have a hard time not calling him Pacey, though. But he would get over it.
Joey: It's my mom's bracelet
Pacey:I know
Joey: You know? How do you know?
Pacey: Because you told me, six months ago. You came to school and you were wearing that sweater with snowflakes on it. I was teasing you as usual and then you told me "Look Pacey, I just found my mom's bracelet this morning, so why don't you cut me some slack."
Joey: You remember that?
Pacey: I remember everything.
Mr. Knightley
Not one in a hundred men have gentleman so plainly written across them as Mr. Knightley. So gentile, so giving, so good. Mr. Knightley is the best friend, the one that knows Emma like family, and genuinely wants what is best for her. Emma, who is so flawed, is suddenly swept off her feet at the end of the novel by this fabulously handsome gentleman that knows her so well, urges her to better herself, and will do anything for her. "Marry me, my wonderful, darling friend." Mr. Knightley is why I'm looking for someone as comfortable as family, and utterly romantic. Mr. Darcy's a close 2nd runner up. But I would take Knightley any day.
Knightley: "I do not wish to call you my friend, because I hope to call you something infinitely more dear... I rushed back, anxious for your feelings, keen to be near you. I rode through the rain.... I'd ride through worse than that if I could just hear your voice telling me that I might, at least, have some chance to win you."
Edward Cullen
Mysterious, sexy, dangerous. He's the bad boy that doesn't want to be a monster. Plus he has super powers, is incredibly strong and fast, and will protect you from any imaginable danger. He'll let you see your werewolf friends, even if it makes him jealous, and he'll always do what is ultimately in your best interest. Edward Prefers Brunettes. Plus, you can have sex with him for a decade without getting tired. And did I mention that he's really, really attractive? And wears fashion glasses? And that with one smell of your blood, he is impossibly in love with you, and could never let you go? I'm literally in mourning that no one like him exists in reality. He would give Pacey a run for his money (blasphemy...). Move aside, 15 year olds. I will be in front of you in line for 10 hours at the New Moon Premiere in November, and you're going to wish your T-Shirt is a great as mine. And I'm also seriously considering a pilgrimage to Forks. I only wish I had thought of this all before Stephanie Meyer.
Edward: Look after my heart, I've left it with you.
No, Edward, you look after my heart. I've left it in your sexy, mythical hands.
mr knightly is a gentile? do the pharisees know about this?
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